After years of struggling against I-didn’t-know-what, I took my best friend’s advice (once again) and went to a psychologist to have myself examined on attention-related issues. I am afraid to use any l diagnostic terms here, but in the end I was told my brain Works in a way that is called: ADD-affected. Attenton Deficit Disorder. Switch to google and you will soon be drowning in information – I wouldn’t, if I were you. Later, I will put up a short text on what ADD is, especially what it can mean for women.
Put simply: we all swim in our familiar pools of genes, and the ones that form minorities will have difficulty getting along. For the past two months, I’ve been trying to stay afloat on everything there is to rethink and reconsider. Being happy to know what bugged me, and that I can’t help it really. Wondering why my parents never noticed any of this, and why I was told I wasn’t performing to my ability. Being relieved that I can take a from of speed that slows the eternal buzz in my head. Feeling excited and at the same time down, because I can handle my children so much better on an equivalent of speed. Trying to be optimistic about the future even though my job ends in a few weeks and I have chosen not to stay on as a freelancer in the same work field: administrative tasks which I am extremely unfit to do. I tried this as a fulltime job, and I think I drained my battery severely in doing so during that year. In that respect, I am looking forward to a new era.